263. The 90-Day Identity Rebuild: Nervous System, Self-Trust & Bold Action With Sass Schaeffer
263. The 90-Day Identity Rebuild: Nervous System, Self-Trust & Bold Action With Sass Schaeffer
When life falls apart, most of us instinctively try to put it back together as quickly as possible.
We want the same house of cards, the same rhythm, the same roles, the same identity, the same proof that we’re okay. We tell ourselves we’re healing because we’re functioning again. We’re getting through the day. We’re answering emails. We’re making dinner. We’re keeping the machine humming.
But sometimes healing isn’t the whole journey.
Sometimes life is not asking you to rebuild what was.
Sometimes life is asking you to rebuild who you are.
In this episode of the Embodied Writing Warrior podcast, I spoke with Sass Schaeffer, registered dietician, certified personal trainer, mindset coach, and host of Practice Your Positive Daily, about what it really means to rebuild your identity after unexpected life changes.
Sass knows this terrain intimately. After spending 15 years in corporate and tying much of her identity to achievement, titles, and climbing the ladder, she experienced a life-shaking season where she was laid off and her house flooded in the same year.
Then, less than a year later, it happened again.
Another layoff. Another flood. Both worse than the first.
The first time, she did what many of us do. She rebuilt the house. She went back to corporate. She tried to restore life to what it had been before.
But the second time, the story changed.
The second time was messier. Slower. Angrier. Less neatly tied with a bow. And that deeper unraveling became the beginning of a real identity rebuild.
Healing vs. Rebuilding Your Identity
There is a powerful difference between healing from what happened and rebuilding who you are after it happens.
Healing often focuses on recovery. You’re tending to the wound. You’re catching your breath. You’re trying to feel okay again.
Identity rebuilding asks deeper questions.
Who am I now?
What do I actually want?
Where has my energy been going?
What life am I rebuilding, and do I even want that life anymore?
This is especially important for women in midlife, particularly women in their 40s and 50s who may be navigating divorce, layoffs, burnout, caregiving transitions, empty nesting, health changes, or the quiet ache of realizing they’ve spent years taking care of everyone else.
When the old structure collapses, there can be grief. There can be rage. There can be shame. But there can also be authorship.
You don’t have to rebuild the exact same life with the exact same pieces.
You get to reconfigure.
Why Survival Mode Blocks Your Next Identity
One of the most important parts of Sass’s work is that she begins identity rebuilding in the body.
Before a woman can create a bold new vision for herself, she needs to feel safe enough to dream again.
When you’re living in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, everything feels urgent. You’re reactive. You’re overwhelmed. You’re trying to make it through the day, not imagine a new future.
That’s why the first stage of real identity transformation is not a dramatic rebrand, a new wardrobe, or a giant leap into your dream life.
It’s sleep.
It’s food.
It’s movement.
It’s nervous system support.
It’s rebuilding the physical foundation so your body no longer feels like every small problem is an emergency.
Because when your system is in survival mode, future vision can feel impossible. But when your body starts to feel safe, creativity returns. Desire returns. Clarity returns.
Self-Trust Begins With Small Decisions
After the physical foundation comes the work of rebuilding intuition and self-trust.
So many women have spent years outsourcing their decisions. They’ve prioritized everyone else’s comfort. They’ve silenced their needs. They’ve become experts at being agreeable, capable, helpful, and low-maintenance.
But over time, that can disconnect a woman from her own knowing.
Self-trust often comes back through small decisions.
What do I want for dinner?
What do I actually want to wear?
What feels right to me?
What would I choose if I wasn’t trying to be convenient?
These questions may seem tiny, but they are identity anchors.
Every time you choose from your truth instead of defaulting to someone else’s preference, you strengthen the signal between you and you.
That signal matters.
Because your next identity is not built only through huge life decisions. It is built through the daily practice of listening to yourself and acting like your desires count.
Bold Moves Anchor A New Identity
Sass also shared the importance of making a bold move.
A bold move does not have to mean blowing up your entire life. It might mean wearing bright colors after years of hiding in gray. It might mean taking a solo adventure. It might mean doing stand-up comedy. It might mean starting a podcast, changing your style, speaking publicly, setting a boundary, or letting yourself be seen in a new way.
The point is not that the bold move has to impress anyone else.
The point is that it anchors you to a new version of yourself.
It gives your identity evidence.
It says: I am not just thinking about becoming her. I am moving as her.
And sometimes, action creates clarity faster than endless reflection ever could.
You might try something and discover you love it. You might try something and discover you only loved the fantasy of it. Both are valuable. Both are information. Both move you closer to yourself.
You do not have to marry every dream you flirt with.
Sometimes you just need to go on the date.
Why The Messy Middle Is Where Women Quit
One of the most honest parts of identity rebuilding is that it usually includes a messy middle.
At first, change can feel exciting. You have a vision. You have momentum. You feel the sparkle of possibility.
Then the resistance shows up.
The old patterns feel easier. The new choices feel awkward. The results are not visible yet. Your brain starts whispering that maybe this is too hard, maybe you’re not ready, maybe the old life wasn’t so bad.
This is normal.
Not glamorous, but normal.
Sass described this as the natural resistance to change. We are wired for familiarity. The old path is well-worn. The new path feels like walking through tall grass. It catches at your ankles. It feels uncomfortable. It makes your nervous system wonder if discomfort means danger.
But often, discomfort is not a sign that you’re failing.
It’s a sign that you’re creating a new path.
The key is not to demand perfect motivation every day. The key is to keep moving forward, even in small ways, especially when nothing seems to be changing yet.
Because so often transformation looks like nothing, nothing, nothing, breakthrough.
How You Know You’re Embodying The New Identity
Eventually, the new identity starts to become less effortful.
At first, you may have to ask yourself, “What would the new version of me do?”
You may have to consciously choose the boundary, the outfit, the habit, the brave conversation, the self-honoring decision.
But with enough repetition, the new pattern becomes more natural.
You stop translating everything through the old identity.
You just move.
You speak the truth. You trust the decision. You set the boundary. You choose what you actually want. Not perfectly, but more instinctively.
That’s embodiment.
Not when you never feel fear again.
Not when you become a perfectly polished future-self hologram.
But when the new way of being starts to feel like home.
A Playful Practice: Choose Your Theme Song
At the end of the episode, Sass offered a fun and spicy embodiment practice: choose a theme song for yourself or your week.
Pick a song that helps you feel connected to the version of yourself you’re becoming. Play it. Move to it. Let yourself become the woman who walks into the room with that energy.
And then, for an extra layer of boldness, share it with someone.
This practice is simple, but powerful. Music can shift your state quickly. It can help you access confidence, playfulness, courage, sensuality, power, softness, or whatever quality your next identity is asking you to embody.
Sometimes becoming her starts with letting your body feel her first.
Final Thoughts
If life has fallen apart, it does not mean you have failed.
It may mean the old structure could no longer hold the woman you are becoming.
You are allowed to grieve what changed. You are allowed to be angry. You are allowed to move slowly. You are allowed to take the deeper rebuild one small, brave, embodied step at a time.
You do not have to rush to put everything back the way it was.
You get to ask:
What life am I building now?
Who am I becoming?
And what bold little move would anchor me to her today?
Links Mentioned
Transcript
Kayla: Hello and welcome back to the Embodied Writing Warrior podcast. We have another beautiful guest joining us today, and this conversation is for you if you've ever had a season in life where change happened and it didn't just tap you on the shoulder, it kicked the door open and said, "All right, we're about to do things radically different."
So today I am joined by Sas Schaffer, who is a registered dietician, certified personal trainer, mindset coach, and the host of the Practice Your Positive Daily podcast. Sas has a deeply powerful story about rebuilding her identity. After spending 15 years in corporate and building so much of her identity around achievement and titles and climbing the ladder, she was laid off and had her house flood in the same year.
And then less than a year later, it happened again, both things, the layoff and the flood,. What she eventually realized was that maybe the invitation was not just to rebuild the house or the career or try to put the same life back together again in the exact same way. Maybe the invitation was to rebuild herself.
So in this episode, we talk about the difference between healing and actually rebuilding your identity. We also talk about why many high-performing women get stuck in survival mode. And, we riff a little bit on self-trust, which is one of my favorite topics, as you might have already guessed.
If you're in a season where life has changed or something has ended or an old identity just doesn't fit anymore, this episode is going to serve you so deeply. Let's get started.
Hello, Sass, and welcome to the Embodied Writing Warrior podcast. Hi there. Hey, Kayla. Welcome. Thank you. Thank you for being here. You work with high-performing women in a way that is so valuable and so important,
especially
as they reach a pivotal part in their lives. So can you talk a little bit more about the work you do?
Sass: Sure. So really stemming from my own experience, I spent 15 years in corporate, really spent my time and wrapped up my identity in climbing the corporate ladder by titles, right, growing my career, and then the universe has a way of kind of shaking your snow globe sometime, and I had that experience. And, you know, the first time I had gotten laid off and my house flooded in the same year, and I thought, "Nope, just go back, make everything the same," and I went back to corporate, and I rebuilt the house.
And less than a year later, I got laid off again, and the house flooded again, both times worse than the first time. And so I really took that as a sign and an opening that the universe had created that, that happened in my life and took that as a pivotal time to do different, make a different decision. I went through that transformation, and then part of that, what I do now, is help primarily women in their 40s and 50s who are having some sort of unexpected challenge, feeling like maybe they lost themselves.
You know, they're, they're not quite sure what the next step is. Guiding them through that, and it's just been, it's been a great joy and, you know, it's beautiful to be witness to people and that kind of transformation. Absolutely. So one of the things I love about this is that you had two very challenging things happen together more than once, and instead of going into a place of, "Why is this happening to me?"
Kayla: There was very much a, "Okay, the universe is opening a new door. I'm gonna choose the meaning I assign to this." Yeah. And that really took you to this beautiful work you do now. Yeah. I would love to know, was there any challenges about having those things happen not once but twice, and then reaching that place of meaning that you've come to now?
Sass: Oh, yeah, for sure. And I'll just be totally open and transparent that there are other times that I think the universe or life had shifted for me and opened a door, and I didn't hang in the saddle, right? I didn't do the deeper work. I just went right back, mostly in relationships, right? Something would end, and I would just go right back, and I would find myself in a very similar pattern.
Even though the details were different, the guy was different, but I was the same. And I had seen that a couple of times, and so I really felt like this was my time. You know, I had one of those talks with myself, and maybe you have, too, where you've been like, "All right, Sass, this is it. Like, we have to do the work.
We have to figure this out to be truly happy." And, you know, the first time it really felt like a very lesson. You know, it was tied up with a neat bow. My house flooded. I went back to work. You know, a family member who I wasn't very close to showed up and rebuilt the whole house. It was like this miracle, and I thought, "Wow, that was great."
I learned so much, and patted myself on the back and thought, "Great, that's over." And then the second time when it happened and it was worse, you know, it wasn't that neat, tidy, happy ending story. It took longer. I was devastated, right? I had just spent all this time recreating my house essentially the way it was.
And, you know, it was a little bit more of an unraveling. And, you know, to be honest, right, it, it was messy. It wasn't the hero's journey that you picture where, you know, every day I just woke up... I woke up pissed off, frankly, a lot of mornings, just angry that this had happened, angry that this was my lot in life, that I felt like I'd done everything right and still somehow it wasn't enough.
And then it really wasn't until I took that kind of internalized maybe, like, shame and accountability and redirected it toward, right, I'm not responsible for being here, but I am responsible for getting myself out. And, you know, it was a lot slower the second time, but it was deeper, right? The, the work was deeper.
The transformation was real, and it stuck in different ways. You know, we can talk about a little of that, but some of that has been gratitude, something that I didn't really feel grounded in before. But boy howdy, you lose everything you own, and you will be thankful for a cup of tea every day because, you know, when you lose that much.
So really some deeper lessons that maybe I really needed to learn that second time. Absolutely. I know one of the things that you speak about is the difference between healing and actually going and rebuilding your identity, and it sounds like this second time was very much the latter. So can you speak a little bit more about the differences between those two?
Yeah, for sure. I think, right, a lot of times these things happen, you know, whether it's a layoff or a divorce. I'm sure not everybody has a natural disaster happen two years in a row, right? But these things happen, and somewhere between perhaps a little bit of the shame or the fear or the worry or the, right, how is this perceived by others, we just, we hurry up and scuffle to put all the pieces back together, right, just the way they were, right?
The house of cards fell over. We just rebuild it. And I think there's a real value and humility that comes with when your life seems to fall apart, how can I pick up these pieces and reconfigure them in a different way? And, you know, that's maybe some of the deeper work that is harder to sit with, and that's why, right, sometimes it's helpful to listen to podcasts or get with coaches or surround yourself with other women who have gone through this.
And so you can kind of see that, like, you are able to come out of this with something different. And especially if you're going through these things at midlife, in your 40s or 50s, maybe your children are getting old, you're at a different point in your career, really taking that as an opportunity, especially, again, as a woman who, right, most of us, we do for everybody else, right?
We, we take care of everybody else. Taking this really as a time and a sign to really be honest with yourself about what you want, what you need, and where your time and energy are going, and see if it makes more sense to direct some of that back to yourself. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. That's such a pivotal shift, and I love that you encourage people to get curious when things fall apart and things don't go according to plan because it does...
Kayla: You always have this opportunity for authorship, and one story can be, "Okay, everything's falling apart because life sucks," or, "Everything's falling apart because I'm meant to reexamine it and maybe show up differently." So can you share a little bit about what 90 days of real identity building actually looks like, and not like the shiny one that you see on Instagram?
Sass: Sure. Yeah, sure. So right in 90 days, when I take women through the Baddie Rebuild program... you know, so I'm grounded as a registered dietician, certified personal trainer, and mindset coach. So we really start with the physical body because so many of us, we just live in this absolutely inflamed fight, flight, fawn, or freeze mode, right?
Everything's urgent. I'm always late. I have to be productive, right? Totally in our minds. And when you're in that space, right, you're, you're, you're basically unplugged from rational thinking, right? Everything feels like an emergency. If you ever lost your keys and then be like, "I can't find them. I can't find them," and because you're so worked up, you literally can't find them, and maybe they're sitting right out in the open or in the jeans you wore yesterday.
It's that same thing, but on the grander scale of our whole life. And so the very first step in 90 days is we gotta, we gotta tamp down your nervous system, right? We have to feel safe in the moment. We have to feel safe just being you, without being productive, without being of value to other people. This includes getting your sleep straight, healthy food, reasonable movement, right?
Really a physical foundation so that you can actually move from that survival into a space where you can create. Because if you're hearing this and you're like, "Oh my gosh, I can't recreate myself. I'm just trying to get through the day," right? Like, "I have no dreams," that's a sign that you are in survival mode, and I know it was for me, right?
What am I doing five years? I don't know. I'm just trying to get through dinner, right? Like, I'm just trying to, like, not cry for the rest of the day. That's my goal. So the first beginning is we just get you out of that. And then the second step is really having women tap back into their own intuition. We are, we are s- you know, so many of us are people pleasers, right?
We, we are so concerned around the comfort around others. And over time, we outsource all of our power and our decision to other people. And then you, you don't trust yourself. I know that was for me. I had always, "What do you want for dinner? What should we do?" "I don't know, what do you want?" And at some point, then you stop listening to yourself.
It's like having a radio station that's, like, not quite tuned in. So the next step is really, like, you know, w- trusting yourself in small decisions. In what to buy and what to do and where to go, and really tapping back into what feels right for me. Not what should I do, what, what's the right thing to do, but, like, the truth that you, you know in your heart.
We all do. You know the truth. It's just tapping back in and being brave enough. And then lastly, I'm a big fan of going bold and doing something to anchor yourself to that new vision of yourself. So right, we start with the old story, and then we wanna craft a vision of, like, okay, who do you want to be?
And let's anchor your identity in a big move. Maybe this is doing stand-up comedy for the first time or changing your look and your style or going on an adventure by yourself or starting a podcast, right? Doing something that is big and public that really gets you out there and anchors you to that new identity, and then make sure that we have, all of your behaviors moving toward that.
And in 90 days, we can get pretty good, right? There's a little bit of a follow-up in the couple of months after. We wanna make sure we sustain this. But in 90 days, moving through a physical foundation, tapping back into our own intuition, and then making a bold move toward who we wanna be. You know, uh, there's a lot of tears and some resistance, right?
And that's just me. No, I'm kidding. That, you know, right? That's, that's everybody. Um, but I think the work is really valuable, and it's, it's beautiful to see women in that kind of transition. Absolutely, and I love the progression. So I move people through earth, which is basically that physical foundation.
Kayla: Yeah. And then water, which is the feminine intuition, and then fire, which is the bold, decisive action. I think that's- Love it ... such beautiful scaffolding, and I love that that's what you take your women through. Yeah. So I would just love to hear from you, what are some of your favorite bold moves you've done as you've shifted identities over the years?
Sass: Yeah. You know, it's funny how that changes, right? Because in the beginning it seems like a bold move is like, right, like I used to get dressed in a lot of like gray T-shirts and shorts, right? Kind of like the don't look at me, you know, uniform of a mom in her 40s, right? Like, I don't know, bike shorts, big T-shirt.
And so at first it just felt bold to like wear bright pink, like, "What? Where am I going? This is crazy. Like, what am I doing," right? And now it doesn't seem like a big deal to wear bright colors. But it's funny how there's these incremental steps of boldness. You know, so I mentioned stand-up comedy. That was something I'd always wanted to do.
I thought maybe that would be like my dream profession, and I started doing it, right? And I realized it's kind of like having a crush. You ever have a crush on someone, in your mind it's this big fantasy, they're perfect, and then you talk to them and you're like, "Oh. Oh, never mind," right? And sometimes we need to do that, right?
We need to kind of fact check. You know, I had this idea that, ooh, stand-up comedy, and I did it, and you know what? I liked it. I still do it for fun, but it's not for me. But I didn't know that, and I wouldn't have known that if I hadn't just tried it. And so, you know, some of those things, like, right, reinventing kind of how I, you know, how I, you know, appear and doing stand-up comedy, starting businesses, you know, building in public.
All of these things are kind of incremental steps that just keep getting me closer to my own, you know, my own future vision for sass, as I hope, you know, everyone has a, a future vision for who they want to be. I think it's really powerful to tie ourselves to a future vision that we're running, that we're walking toward or running toward as opposed to an old, an old version we're trying to run from Absolutely.
Kayla: You touched on two epic things that I wanna touch on, and the first is the fact that our capacity does build over time, and what feels like a big move once will not feel like a big move to the you two years from now as you grow. And then the other piece that I loved so much was that action creates clarity, was another big part of that that I heard, is that sometimes you can love the idea of something more than you actually love the thing.
Sass: So it sounds like so much of your work is giving women permission to try things without marrying them, and to find out where they're really meant to be and what they're meant to be doing. Yeah, and you know, I think sometimes, and right, speaking from experience, there's this perfectionist idea of like, "Oh, well, I'm gonna do this thing, and then, and then that's gonna work for me.
And look, I always wanted to do this thing, and now I'm doing this thing." And that's just not the reality, right? You talked about, like, not Instagram, you know, picturesque. Like, it's the same thing, right? It is a discovery process, especially for women who have been outsourcing their opinions, have been squelching their needs, have been doing for everybody else.
If you've been doing that for five, 10, 20, 30 years, some of the clients I work with, it takes time to peel back those layers. And then what feels bold one day won't feel bold in two years from now, which is another reason it's great to have these communities, these podcasts, where you can see other women doing it at all stages of the path.
Because I'm sure for you, too, right, there's women I look at and I'm like, "Wow, you know, I aspire to that," but they've just been doing it longer. It's all these repetitions, right? These practices build on themselves. And, you know, it's a beautiful thing to kind of embrace that journey. And I know it sounds cliche, but it's so true when you're in it, to embrace that and just let the path unfold ahead of you without perhaps the preconceived judgment or criticism, and just be open to where life takes you Absolutely.
Kayla: I think the repetitions over time is one of the most powerful things to keep in mind. And I know, ironically, it can be one of the most challenging. People can get stuck in the messy middle, say month two. Mm-hmm. And that tends to be where the struggle happens. So why do you think it is that a lot of women will quit right around that point?
Sass: Yeah, I think it's twofold, right? So one thing that was helpful for me was to realize there's an, there's an inborn resistance to change, right? We are creatures of homeostasis, mentally, physically, right? Our brain wants to keep us safe. We want things to be familiar, right? You'd rather live with the devil you know than the devil you don't know.
And so I think the first thing is just, like, r- recognizing that. It's not you. It's not me. It's just, it's the hu- It's just part of being human, right? We're gonna want that familiar. So knowing ahead of time, it's kind of giving birth, right?
Knowing ahead of time this is going to be painful. There are days you're not gonna wanna do this, and then any forward action those days still counts, just don't go backward. So I think that's one thing is just kind of setting up the expectation that, you know, there will be days of resistance, just like going to the gym, right?
You don't have to be disciplined. You don't have to be motivated every day, but you do have to be disciplined to stick with it when you don't see the progress, right, when you're putting the work in and nothing feels like it's changing. And I'm sure you've experienced it, too. A lot of these times it's like nothing, nothing, nothing, boom, a big change.
And you just have to stick with it during those nothing times. Another half I would say, right, is we just go back to neuroscience. We have... You know, we're, we are wired for these actions. You've been doing something one way for five, 10, 20 years. It's gonna take time to create a new neural pathway, right?
It's like walking through tall grass. You've been walking one path. It's well-worn. It's easy. To go this way through the tall grass, right, there's gonna be sticks and you're gonna get... You know, it's gonna hurt, and it's gonna feel weird, and it's gonna be uncomfortable. And that all, we interpret that as danger, but really, that's all just a sign of growth.
And so I think those two expectations that, like, you're gonna wanna quit sometimes, and that's just the way it is with working out or changing your identity or saving money or what have you, and that it just takes time to create this new path. You know, usually, you know, usually just keeping re- you know, reminding ourselves of those things can keep us on the path to be consistent through that messy middle Mm.
I think having those expectations right off the bat helps so much, so thank you for that. So how does a woman know when she's finally starting to embody that identity that's been meant for her all along? Yeah. I think some of the signs I see in clients, and I've seen in myself, is, you know, it's almost like when you're speaking a foreign language, and at first you translate everything through, right?
Have you ever, do you ever speak a s- a other language, right? At first- Not well Yeah, me neither. But right, but there's an idea of like, okay, how would I say this in... How would I say this in Spanish, right? We have to kind of wire, like funnel it through our old system. And I think when I see women who are really in the embodiment practice, they kind of skip that like, "Ooh, should I say this?
Is this the right thing? Is this..." E- even then you can be perfectionist about change, right? "Was this the new me? Is this the right thing to do?" And when we tap into that self-trust and you just make the move, right? You set the boundary. You speak your truth. You, you know, you do what you want to do, not in a hurtful way, but in an unbothered way, right?
My needs are important. I think when you s- when you, when that's your first go-to, it can be so exciting, and it's subtle. But once that's there without trying to like, "Okay, well, this is right because my coach said this, and I'm supposed to do that," and you just make those moves and trust yourself, it's a beautiful thing.
It's like when you first learn to ride a bicycle or something, and you're suddenly, you're coasting. It just, it just feels so good, and it's great to see. Beautiful. So it's that move from conscious competence to unconscious competence- Yeah ... where it becomes very natural. Yes. Right, and that's in repetitions, like we were saying, that it's almost like, right, that same idea of muscle memory, right?
If when you learn to dance or something. At some point, you know, you can carry on a conversation. You're not thinking about the footwork. And until it becomes that unconscious decision, you know, that's when you really know that you've, you've hit the sweet spot that, that you're in. Absolutely. So one thing I'd love for you to share is that you have your knowledge as a dietician.
Kayla: You do a lot of mindset work. And one thing I love about your podcast, Practice Your Positive Daily, is that you don't leave it at the mindset piece. You turn the mindset piece into embodied action. So what are some of your best practices for ensuring that the mindset work you do with your clients stays in the body and translates into their real life?
Sass: Yeah. So I think, you know, again, right, like moving as the future version of yourself, right? Ident- anchoring yourself in that new identity and moving through the world. And so, right, in the coaching program, we do spend time thinking about her almost as if a, you know, an alter ego or, right, your future self, and, you know, what does she wear?
And sometimes that little bit of distance, right, talking about ourselves in third person, research shows actually gives us a little boost, right? Because we finally have a little bit of objectivity, right? If you're kind of looking outside in, right, you're looking down at yourself and you're like, "Okay, if I were this character, if this person existed, like, what would she do and how would she be?"
And that's it. It's really building, you know, so much of the work because it's easy to keep this in our heads, and it feels safer if we're thinking about these things than doing these things, really building a daily practice, a weekly practice with clients for, you know, this is what you do. Here are your habits.
Here are your challenges, right? Making it fun. You know, having challenges and almost like a dare-like feel to things, but having, you know, a real set routine, just like we would as a fitness routine. And over time, right, we build that scaffolding of a schedule or of a routine. Over time, that just becomes who you are.
But at first, we kind of need that external structure. Especially a lot of the women I work with are like, "Just tell me what to do. I'll do it," right? That idea of like, right, "I'm super competent. I'm the boss everywhere. I'm always in charge. Like, please just, just lead me to that." And, you know, placing that trust in me is, is an honor, right?
I'm sure you feel the same way. And so giving someone the structure to be able to, to live that in a way that matches their lifestyle and their goals, you know, it's really, it's really, you know, a great way to get those repetitions in without it feeling kind of forced or inauthentic. Yes, I think that structure component is wildly undervalued.
So thank you for that. So Sass, this has been such a fun conversation. I have really enjoyed chatting with you. I always get my guests to give the listeners some kind of a practice or an embodied challenge they can leave this interview with. So what would you like to leave the listeners with today? I'm going to leave everyone with something a little fun and a little spicy, and I think you might agree with this or you might get down with this.
I'm gonna say choose a theme song, either for yourself or for your week, and choose a theme song, and really, right, enjoy it, embody it. And the double challenge is share it with somebody else. Share it with a girlfriend, share it with a partner, share it with a kiddo, right? Share that. But pick a theme song for yourself.
Music is so powerful, and there's so much, you know, so many good artists out there now, and really like, you know, really empowering. But I'd say pick a theme song and really own it, and let yourself kind of slip into that embodied character when you hear that song, and just really spend some time kind of moving as her, and see if it doesn't change the way you move other times.
I am absolutely down for this challenge. And you know I'm gonna ask you, what is your theme song? Oh. It rotates through. I'm a big fan of Tom Jones, She's a Lady. It's like a real, like it's like a '70s kinda like soul. She's a lady. And it's like she doesn't take any, she doesn't take any, you know, guff, and I don't know.
I like that one. And then I like a lot of, there's a lot of, you know, kind of conscious creators right now in the music space, right? And I, I do listen to a lot of that kind of like high vibe dance pop, like Abel Heart or, you know- Mm-hmm ... Chris and Teb, some of those things, like the more like manifestation heavy, I really do like some of those.
They have some good ones, and if I had to pick a theme song, it'd probably be- Yeah ... 5D by Queen Herbie. Okay. I'm very much into like the conscious creators as well, so. Okay, good. Yeah, good challenge. We'll have to check that one out. I do like a lot of Queen Herbie. I'll have to check that one out. Amazing.
And then when listeners want to connect with you, learn more about you, what are the best places for them to go? Yeah, the best place is to hang out with me on Instagram or send me a DM there. I'm sure we'll write it down below in the show notes, but it's @sass, S-A-S-S, _schaeffer, S-C-H-A-E-F-F-E-R. And that's really the best way.
Always open, love to talk to people. Shoot me a question or just come say hi.
Kayla: Perfect. And yes, links will all be in the description. So thank you so much again for being here, Sass. Yeah. Thank you, Kayla.
