231. Trauma-Informed Romantasy Magic: Healing Through Creativity ft. Lily Luz
231. Trauma-Informed Romantasy Magic: Healing Through Creativity ft. Lily Luz
What happens when fantasy, romance, and trauma collide?
You get something raw, powerful, and deeply human. You get traumantasy—a genre that author Lily from Mother of Stories stumbled into… and then fell in love with.
In this episode of the Embodied Writing Warrior Podcast, we dive into the world of traumantasy and what makes it so unique. Lily shares how her original intention to write high fantasy was gently overtaken by a deeper calling: to write stories about trauma, relationships, identity, and healing. What emerged was a genre that offers more than escape—it offers reclamation.
We talk about:
Why trauma-centered fiction can be a form of therapy—for both writer and reader
The importance of diverse representation in fantasy and romance
The healing power of community, especially when readers recognize themselves in each other
Writing through the lens of Internal Family Systems and parts work
Why intention and execution matter when writing outside your lived identity
And how embracing your nonlinear, neurodivergent process can still create magic
Lily's current projects include a novel titled Hearts Change My Scars, a monster erotica novelette, and ongoing work on her Substack newsletter Mother of Stories. Her writing is filled with emotionally complex characters, moral nuance, and the kind of catharsis we don’t always get in real life.
Whether you're a fellow writer or a devoted reader of darker romance and trauma-informed fantasy, this conversation will leave you feeling seen—and maybe even a little more whole.
Embodied Activation:
Find a parallel between yourself and a character from your favorite media. What traits do you admire in them? How are they similar—or different—from you? Are those traits ones you already possess, wish you had, or would want in a partner? Explore the relationship between you and the stories you love.
Links Mentioned:
Transcript:
Kayla: Hello, Lily and welcome to the Embodied Writing Warrior Podcast.
Lily: Hi, happy to be here. Thanks for having me.
Kayla: Thank you for agreeing to. Join me. So we actually met on Substack and I reached out because I wanted to have a conversation about the genre that you write in. So can you share a little bit more about you as a writer and this genre that I'd actually never heard before until I stumbled across your post.
Lily: Yeah, sure. So I guess the niche I've found myself in, that I really didn't expect and didn't really steer myself towards just kind of naturally happened. I would call Truman Toy and I think it's a fairly new term. I don't know that the industry uses it yet, but it's something that I've seen floating around from people who read, books that would fit into this genre.
And for anyone who doesn't know this is romantic, but it centers. Trauma, the responses to trauma and how characters navigate these situations and the things that have happened to them. And yeah, I guess it's kind of like the gist of it.
Kayla: Yeah. So I would love to hear, you said it wasn't really your intention to dive into this genre, but it sort of found its way to you.
So can you share a little bit more about that process and how this particular style of writing really came into your world?
Lily: Sure. Whenever I started picking up writing again, 'cause I had stopped writing for a long time, for a lot of reasons. But whenever I started back up again, my goal was to go hardcore fantasy.
Like I'm talking like high fantasy magic systems, that whole thing. I kept writing romance and I was just like, no, this isn't supposed to be, you know what I'm doing? But it just came naturally and it felt like what I needed to do and it just, it's kind of where everything has steered towards.
And I also do like horror and, like comedy. That's kind of like more short story oriented stuff, and I do eventually wanna, expand those genres, for like longer projects. But this has really been where a lot of my ideas and a lot of my themes and a lot of my natural tendencies have kind of steered me towards.
Kayla: Mm-hmm. Definitely. So can you share more about the magic of this genre in general? So I know it. Almost feels like another sub genre of Dark romance. And that's a controversial genre, of course. Mm-hmm. And there's a lot of people who believe that it's very healing for a certain group of people. So can you share a little bit about how traumantasy has that similar healing effect for readers potentially?
Lily: Sure. And anything I say is not meant to pass, judgment on any other genre or any other reader or, you know, anything like that. I think media is meant to be enjoyed. People are flawed. What we produce is flawed. It is what it is. For me, and how I try to treat it is something that helps somebody figure out, it's like, drawing parallels between a character's journey and your own journey. You could think, oh, this, person's relationship with their mother is very similar to mine. And I know I find catharsis in that and how they're, either talking about it or not talking about it, or there's, justice served or there isn't.
There's a lot of different ways that you can find yourself in a lot of these situations or in a lot of these resolutions that I think we don't really get to have in the real world. A lot of times justice isn't served to the people that it needs to be served to. We don't get to have, you know, I'm sorry, from abusers.
We don't get to have those hard conversations whenever we want to sometimes, even with grief, like if people pass away, we don't have that last like, I love you or, you know, whatever it may be that we want from this person, I need from this person. A lot of that I feel like we can find in between the pages of stories that, you know, are either tremendously or a tremendously adjacent.
Kayla: Thank you so much for sharing that. And I agree there's such a beauty in stories where you do get some meaning. You do get the catharsis versus sometimes in real life it doesn't feel like it makes sense the same way. So I absolutely love that. And would you be able to share a little bit more about how you see people healing through.
Communities with other readers that are reading similar things.
Lily: Sure. I think. This kind of comes into, at least with the community aspect, if you find people are reading the same genre or you are excited about the same things in the story, and you start connecting over those things, you kind of start to dig a little bit deeper and you think, oh, this person knows about panic attacks.
Or they know what it's like to, suffer this kind of assault or, whatever it may be that there's a deeper issue that you have both experienced or both, been traumatized by. And it's something that. I think can help you find your people in a way that is genuine and it helps you build something together out of something, negative.
Kayla: And I think there's a really big potential for a deep connection when someone has experienced one of these very challenging events that other people might not necessarily be able to relate to quite as well.
Lily: Exactly, and I think that's kind of where the, I don't know, I guess almost the empathy of it where if people haven't experienced these things, and I hope, you know, the vast majority of people don't or never do.
I think this also is the opportunity to. Help them build empathy for people who have experienced difficulties or, give them a deeper understanding of their partner or family members or have better insights onto mental health issues, for instance. To kind of bridge that gap a little bit where it's still fun, it's still entertainment.
It's still something that we're consuming as art, but it's also a deeper connection to the people in our lives.
Kayla: I love that so much and I don't know where I. Heard it, but I heard that readers have like more empathy than non-readers, especially readers of like fiction because they are reading about all of these different experiences.
And I know one thing that's very important to you is diverse representation in working through trauma, and I feel like that's a big piece of this conversation as well. So could you share a little bit more on that?
Lily: Absolutely. Comedy and laughing is like one of my coping mechanisms, but I was so deeply closeted for the vast majority of my life because of religious, abuse and trauma.
Only in recent years I have really come to terms with, like my gender identity, like being gender fluid, like sexuality, being fluid, and, like, I'm a Hispanic, born female. Just all these other different cross-sectional things that have happened and I am in my life.
I think it's very important to. See yourself represented in these stories and see yourself represented in these communities. 'Cause I didn't have a whole bunch of that growing up. Like, I didn't, see people of color. I didn't see people of, different genders in fantasy. And it's something that I think we're seeing a lot of expansion now, which I'm so excited about.
But I just wanna be a part of that. I think it's very important.
Kayla: Absolutely. And as someone who also had a lot of religious baggage that made their own sexuality problematic at times. I can empathize with how difficult that is for sure. And this is something I've always been furious about.
So we want more representation in, in books, more. Races, more sexual orientations. What are your thoughts about authors writing about a race or an orientation that is not theirs? Because I've heard, you know, both arguments for it and arguments against it, so I would just love to hear your perspective on it.
Lily: That's always a hard question, but I think it really comes down. To two things for me. It's the intention, and it's the execution. So you don't want, I personally ask myself like, is this something that is authentic to this character? And I'm I representing it in an authentic way. So it's like, I don't, I really dislike it whenever people like use like token characters for certain things and it's like, it's not.
You are not doing anything with this character, you just have them as a stand in for something. And I don't think that's adding value other than just to say, oh, I did this. And it's like the easiest, laziest way to, you know, throw something in there and say, I'm, I'm, you know, diversity ally, I am this or that.
And I really think it comes down to. Sensitivity also, like if you're going to represent someone, you should consult people, that are of that group and get their input and think and say like, Hey, is this something that you know is accurate? Or is this, leaning into a stereotype that's untrue.
I think it really just comes down to execution and intention. Intention because you really want to do justice by these communities. At least for me, I consult my friends if it's something that I'm not familiar with or I do extensive research if I don't have anyone in my life that, is part of a group or something.
And for me, it really. Isn't a conscious thought at this point. It's really more about what serves the story and what is this character dealing with and what are their problems and how does their identity cultural, whether it's real or not, culture, like how does that play into all of this?
Kayla: Mm-hmm. I love the execution piece and how important that research is and that wanting to like. Get it as accurate as possible. And then I think you're absolutely right. That intention part is so valuable and knowing why am I choosing this particular character beyond just wanting to have like a diverse cast?
Like what about the story makes this person's experience relevant to the story itself? So I really like that.
Lily: Yeah. And I think it's a part of, highlighting those differences in a way that's meaningful. I think that's what it's, for me at the core, is making meaning out of the things that we share and also the things that we don't.
Kayla: Mm-hmm. I think so as well. So I would love to hear about what you're working on right now and what themes you've really seen show up in your writing these days.
Lily: Sure. So I am currently working on the second draft of a novel. That working title I've kind of recently settled on is Hearts Change My Scars, both because these characters are physically and metaphorically scarred by their experiences.
And I've seen a lot of unintentional, but also some intentional stuff pop up where I really explore like how trauma has informed their relationship dynamics, both with each other, romantically and with their, wider, family members, community, things like that. It's, a look at something that starts out with innocence and from a place of being healthy kind of develops into this,
I don't know, like, it gets complex 'cause relationships get complex. People get complex. And it takes a closer look at like, depend codependence, selfishness, all these different things. And it kind of navigates back to a place of, you know, can we forgive each other? Can we be healthy again?
Can we, you know, men things or is it better, that we're not together. So I think that's something that's interesting to explore as people, to find certain people in our lives. Like if it's the right time, if it's the right situation, if it's the right mindset, and how far that can go into play in making a relationship work or breaking it.
I think also I've seen how, I kind of touched on forgiveness, and forgiveness is another big theme. It's. More of like forgiveness of yourself. Like if you're in a traumatic situation, you may do things that you're not proud of or you may, lash out at people because you're just in so much pain or you may cope in ways that are not the healthiest.
And so it's kind of like digging back into that shame and being like, can I forgive myself for these things because I was doing the best I can. And then also the forgiveness of others where. Sometimes they may have had the best intentions, but things were damaging. And kind of finding the people that will put in the work to change and, repairing those things were possible or relationships were possible.
I guess kind of a little bit of a kind of talking like how things develop. It's kind of split up into different age or like the timeline is split up into different, ages a little bit. So it starts off like, as children, it starts off with, like mid twenties and then later, like late thirties, just to show like developmentally, like you're a different person, like vastly, at different points in your life.
And a little bit of that I think has unconsciously been internal family structure oriented. And for anyone who doesn't know, that's, kind of the, you as a person have different parts and those parts play different roles. You may have a protector who shames you into being quiet because it's not safe to say that thing or you may have a part of you that's overly self-critical because anything less than perfection is not acceptable.
And I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a therapist. Like none of this is like medical advice. These are just things that I've learned and picked up. My own therapy journey. So kind of like seeing how those different roles show up for my characters and seeing how those protective pieces or destructive pieces pop up with triggers and in regards to things that, you know, are said or done, and seeing how that all plays out.
I think it's a really fun way to play with those complexities in a manner like that people can relate to. 'cause we've all, you know, said things and done things that we're not proud of and we wish there are things that we could take back and we're not gonna be perfect and none of us are like entirely good or evil.
I think it just really comes down to, I. What are you willing to do to change? And like, how do you want to be better and how do you want to show up for people and for yourself? So kind of digging into all that as like a romance, like, and, you know, a fantasy at that. Like putting those, all of those pieces together I think is, is kind of magical to me.
Kayla: It feels magical. And what is the process like of combining three really epic genres? 'cause you've got fantasy, which is like, oh my goodness, the world building and all of that. Mm-hmm. And then you have romance, which always so much fun. And now you're taking like your knowledge of parts work and the healing of like those deeper inner wounds.
So those are like a lot of different layers. So what is your process for. I guess keeping it all organized and just making this really beautiful, cohesive narrative as you're drafting.
Lily: Sure. Um, the short answer is I don't, I am very, I have a lot of difficulty with thinking linearly and I have a lot of difficulty with, outlining, organizing, all of that stuff.
So my closest method to organization has been to just write out scenes and pieces. I will. Kind of envision, conversations or interactions, write those out and think, okay, where would this best fit in, you know, this healing process? Or is this closer to the trauma or is this further away from it?
And kind of piecing together those things. And I sort of tell people I am a world builder and character designer first, then storyteller. Because as much as I love stories, it's not the. Part to, to me that comes most naturally or most easily. I can, you know, do build more for days, like talk about magic systems.
I can, you know, talk about gods and religions and things like that. And I try not to get caught up in doing too much of that because it's not going to be central to the story. It's. It's fun, it's amazing. But also I have to reign myself in and think, okay, no, we're, we're focusing on the characters now we're focusing on, this relationship and other things around it.
So it's really a constant battle of orienting my focus and, bringing it back to where it matters most. And then also recognizing there are parts of, everything that fit into it. Like the magic, I think is supposed to be. More representative of who they are as people their magical abilities develop because of their personalities.
And that in itself also causes some identity issues in crisis. So I think that's something that it's supposed to serve the story and I'm trying to make it serve the story.
Kayla: Absolutely. So this is so fascinating to me because I am the opposite when it comes to writing. So I want my outline, I want to write it from beginning to middle to end.
It's so cool hearing about someone else's process. So for other listeners who maybe also are neurodivergent and it's hard to like stay organized and keep everything like. In a draft form that eventually ends up becoming a full length work of art. What would some of your best practices for them be?
Or just words of wisdom from your experiences as a writer?
Lily: Sure. I would say don't beat yourself up over not following any rules strictly. I think a lot of the writing advice out there is. Made for neurotypical people and made by neurotypical people. And I think that's hard for anybody to kind of adhere to.
And whether or not you're neurodivergent, no writing process is going to be one size fits all. You have to pick apart what pieces serve you and which parts don't. And for me, that has really been learning too. Work with my body's natural rhythms. Like I'm not the same energy level every day. I'm not going to have the same, amount of attention after work or a long day,
and recognizing, building a consistent writing habit is good. You can't, you know, stress over, I didn't write as much as I should have today, it's really just a lot of listening to yourself I think is the most important piece and doing what's going to work for you because in the long run it's really you getting to that finish line and it's going to take a lot of time.
So you have to make it sustainable and whatever way you have to make it sustainable.
Kayla: I love that so much and I think it's beautiful advice really with anything. 'cause we have so many prescriptive ways of doing all the things, whether it's a health journey or building a business, and no two people are going to do it the same way.
And when we try to fit everybody else in the same box, that's where the struggle happens. And that's where consistency almost becomes this cage instead of something that supports us. So I love that advice. Mm-hmm. And with your works, with your writing, what do you hope readers gain from reading your work?
Whether it's your short stories, your longer novels, or anything in between?
Lily: Sure. I think for me it's, it really is most important to recognize that consuming and creating art is therapy. It is. The release of emotion, it's the release of our thoughts and our experiences, and it's in, in this case of like Roman Orman.
I really want to encourage people to reclaim their narratives, it's taking that control out of the abuser's hands. You know, whether it's literal or figurative. Like, if you can walk away from relationship after reading something, that's a wonderful thing. If you're in a place where you can't do that, then at least internally you can start building that sense of self and identity and bravery and kind of exploring those possibilities and like what, find what emotionally resonates with you.
I think that's what's missing in a lot of instances for people where they don't believe it can happen because they can't see an outcome that's similar to what they're going through. Even just having an example that's similar or adjacent or, a character that has a similar thought, like just having that one aha moment is everything.
For some people
Kayla: yes, absolutely Gives them that hope that if it happens here, it can absolutely happen for me as well. So I also love my guests to give the listeners some kind of an embodied challenge. So it can be favorite journal prompt, or some kind of a writing practice, something they can go and do after they've finished listening to this episode.
Lily: I would say, find a parallel between yourself and a character from your favorite media, and kind of explore what those traits that you find so admirable in them and, connect it back to yourself and see what the similarities and differences are.
Like, are those things you wish you had, are those things that you do have or are those things that you would want a partner just kind of figuring out, the relationship between you, and the things you love.
Kayla: That's gonna be a fun one for listeners, so thank you. And when they want to connect with you further, where are the best places for them to go?
Lily: Sure. I do have a substack called Mother of Stories. And that's kind of my thoughts on writing my thoughts on life. Updates with my, written work and also just. Comedic, little unhinged, moments. I also have a, blue sky and an Instagram. Those I'm a little less active on, but I definitely do post like big updates there, on, whether a draft is finished or milestones with the draft.
And, you know, whether I get something published, like I just recently signed a contract for a little micro fiction that's gonna come out soon and you'll find that on, rat Bag Lit. It's very fairly new, you know, literary magazine on Substack and it's just, it's amazing. There's like really weird and funky stories and I love to see just how strange people's minds can get.
Kayla: That sounds awesome and congratulations. Thank you. And what's the next big update for you after this micro fiction gets published?
Lily: Sure. I am currently working on expanding a story, that's a, like monster, erotica, novelette. So, 'cause I am like also like a smut writer and that's something that I've recently been really, coming into or claiming.
So that's gonna be. Maybe nine-ish chapters. We've kind of, I have outlined something, so that's, you know, a first for me too. Figuring that out, but also keeping at, my main novel and trying to make progress on that when able.
Kayla: Amazing. Well, Lily, thank you so much for being here.
It's always so good to talk to another writer, especially another smut writer that's done with staying in the smut closet.
Lily: Thanks for having me. This was a lot of fun.
