221. Hot Mess Magic: From Rock Bottom To Radical Rebirth With Michelle Burke
221. Hot Mess Magic: Rebuilding Your Life, Nervous System & Creative Path After Rock Bottom
If you’ve ever found yourself crying on the couch, unsure how to move forward, today’s Embodied Writing Warrior episode is your medicine. I sat down with Michelle Burke—creator of Hot Mess Magic Media—who shares her jaw-dropping story of resilience, breakdown, and ultimately, rebirth.
Michelle’s story begins with a divine download: the words Hot Mess Magic came to her at dinner one night. Within months, her life began to unravel. Car repossessed. Bank accounts frozen. Home lost. Assault. Homelessness. It was more than a hot mess—it was a full-on identity collapse.
But this wasn't the end. It was the beginning.
In this conversation, we explore:
How Michelle healed her nervous system through stillness, solitude, and sacred movement
What it really means to trust your intuition (even when it says “go to Target”)
How a glitch in her Google Drive became divine timing for finishing her book
Why her podcast got flagged by Spotify—and what it taught her about sovereignty
Her three core lessons from living through hell and making it holy
We also talk about podcasting pitfalls, surviving algorithm chaos, and the power of writing to alchemize trauma. If you’re a writer, creator, or woman who’s ever felt like a “hot mess,” this episode is your invitation to make magic out of the mess.
Listen now—and get ready to reclaim your sHot Mess Magic: Rebuilding Your Life, Nervous System & Creative Path After Rock Bottom
If you’ve ever found yourself crying on the couch, unsure how to move forward, today’s Embodied Writing Warrior episode is your medicine. I sat down with Michelle Burke—creator of Hot Mess Magic Media—who shares her jaw-dropping story of resilience, breakdown, and ultimately, rebirth.
Michelle’s story begins with a divine download: the words Hot Mess Magic came to her at dinner one night. Within months, her life began to unravel. Car repossessed. Bank accounts frozen. Home lost. Assault. Homelessness. It was more than a hot mess—it was a full-on identity collapse.
But this wasn't the end. It was the beginning.
In this conversation, we explore:
How Michelle healed her nervous system through stillness, solitude, and sacred movement
What it really means to trust your intuition (even when it says “go to Target”)
How a glitch in her Google Drive became divine timing for finishing her book
Why her podcast got flagged by Spotify—and what it taught her about sovereignty
Her three core lessons from living through hell and making it holy
We also talk about podcasting pitfalls, surviving algorithm chaos, and the power of writing to alchemize trauma. If you’re a writer, creator, or woman who’s ever felt like a “hot mess,” this episode is your invitation to make magic out of the mess.
Listen now—and get ready to reclaim your story.
Links Mentioned
Michelle’s Book: Hot Mess Magic (searchable on major platforms)
Michelle's Podcast: Hot Mess Magic (available on all platforms)
Embodied Activation
Michelle’s challenge for you is the perfect year-end ritual:
1. Reflect on all of 2025—every win, every mess, every unexpected plot twist.
2. Express gratitude for all of it, even the hard parts.
3. Then, shift from goal-setting to blessing-receiving:
Write a list of the blessings you want to welcome in 2026.
Not goals. Not outcomes. Blessings.
Let this ritual close the chapter and open the next—your next year of magic.
Transcript
Kayla: Hello Michelle and welcome to the Embodied Writing Warrior Podcast.
Michelle: Thank you for having me,
Kayla: Kayla. Thank you for being here. You have the coolest podcast name and the coolest movement based on that name. So I'm gonna let you take it away and share a little bit about Hot Mess Magic.
Michelle: Yeah, so my book, my podcast, or both, you know, A Hot Mess, magic.
I believe that each and every one of us is a hot mess, whether we wanna admit it or not. Oh, and in this world of filters and facades that we live in, it's time just to let it all crumble. 'cause it's in those messy moments in life, one that connect all of us. And two, there would help us grow, expand, learn more about ourselves, see our patterns, see our conditionings, and you know, let's give ourselves permission to be the hot messes that we truly
Kayla: all are.
I love this so much because it is that stepping away from performative culture where you have everything figured out, and as you said, it's that authenticity that really connects everyone. So can you share a little bit of your own hotness story and how it's helped you?
Michelle: So you, I guess if we go back to the book as to when those three little magical words, you know, hot mess, magic came to me. I was in a pretty, oh, I wouldn't say thriving. But when those words came to me, I was at a conference having dinner with a Facebook friend, meeting her for the, first time.
And I said to her, I was like. I don't mean to be rude, but I just said something come to me that's not quite making sense, but I know that this is something and, you know, wrote down those words. And that was in September and after that, my life literally became a hot mess. Fill in the blank mess.
December. Of 2018, a few days before Christmas, my car full of Christmas presents was repossessed January of 2019. I had bank accounts frozen the end of February, beginning of March-ish. My landlord asked me to move out for his daughter to move in April. I was sexually assaulted July. There were nights I didn't even know where I was sleeping, so yeah.
My life became like one hot mess and one hit after the other. After the other.
Kayla: There's something first. Oh my goodness. You have been through some stuff and I also think there is some. Actual magic in these words coming to you almost as like prophetic. Yes. And that became your like initiation and your creative movement. So can you share some of the ways you were able to navigate yourself through that season to get to where you are now?
Michelle: Oh, my support system, like I truly could not have gotten through that without my support system. Oh, because when my car was repossessed, my family did not help me in any way, shape or form. They made me feel so much worse than, you know, I should say my dad and my mom added all that additional guilt, shame, et cetera, that I was feeling.
You know, my stepdad was the one who yo came to the rescue. Oh, but it was having that support system, knowing who I could lean on, who I could turn to that was just going to let me have my moment, whether it was literally crying in their arms. Or just having that like meltdown on the phone, just allowing me to just feel what it was that I was feeling in that moment.
But also I. Telling me, like reminding me that this is just a phase, this is just a chapter. You know, you're just in this shitty season right now and that it's all gonna be okay. So also having, remembering my faith, it's like when we're in these lowest of lows, it's like I feel our faith is being tried beyond being tried and you.
While there were nights that it was, you know, 10 o'clock at night and I still didn't know where I was sleeping. I never had to sleep in my car. I always had a roof over my head and a shower in the morning. Sometimes it was a friend responding back to me going, oh hey, sorry. I was out with the kids all day finally just looking at my phone.
Yes, of course. Like, come on over.
Kayla: You touched on two very beautiful things, actually, three. One is, like you said, that support system is everything, and realizing it often does come from those you choose versus those that are your immediate family. And then the second one was allowing yourself to honor that entire emotional experience.
And then also just keeping that perspective and that faith that it was just a season and that it was going to get better. And how has that season informed your growth and where you are today?
Michelle: Oh, I look back on that season and is like, okay, that was like. The first season of like the death of a version of me.
You know, and we think of you, we think of like getting to that next level, becoming that higher version of self. It's just like, oh, okay. I am gonna, you know, change my hair, change my clothes. It's like, no, you've gotta go sometimes through the ringer to be like, okay. Like these are all the patterns that, I was living that no longer serve me.
Oh wait, I wasn't listening to those nudges and trusting my intuition. We're just gonna slap you across the face and say like, all right, snap out of it. So it was going through that process to uncover parts of myself that were like, oh wow, okay. And allowing those parts to be shed so that. The new layers can come through and yeah, there was a lot of trauma there.
You know, my nervous system was fried beyond fried for years. Now it's really only like all this happened in 2018. It took me till 2024 to really get my nervous system back on track.
Kayla: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. That is something I think that doesn't get talked about often enough. One, that there is gonna be that death phase that is painful and very humbling at times as well.
And then also that getting your nervous system and your body back into a place of safety after those seasons is a process and it doesn't help to rush it or try to force it or anything like that.
Michelle: No, not, not at all. And that's where, you know, just when I thought I was getting myself like back on track in 2023.
Oh, where I like had a great place that I was living. I was doing a house share with, you know, great people. And yeah, that house immediately became a toxic environment. It became, you know, the House of Horrors. So here I am in a space of like trying to get my nervous system all back to being like, okay, like.
We're back in survival, not in survival mode, but we're back in like that fight or flight mode. We're back in like freeze because it just became a toxic environment to where it was, you know, March of 24 that I left, I left with nothing, you know, nothing really lined up because I just had to get out. Of that house, I physically could not stay there anymore and know I stayed with one friend, oh, a couple nights, you know, friends of mine then have, you know, a beach house that they let me, you know, stay in.
And a friend of mine in Canada just kept saying to me, your room's waiting for you, your room's waiting for you, your room's waiting for you. And you know, come May, I was on a plane to Canada and spent, you know, three months in Canada and that's where. My nervous system was able to come back on track.
That's where I was fully able to heal. 'cause I, you know, connected with nature, I connected inward, I got quiet, I got still. So that's the other thing that we forget is we think of doing, doing, doing, doing, doing. And it's like we're human beings, not human doings. It's like, how are you being like, we have to be present, we have to be still, we have to be quiet sometimes to actually hear what our body is telling us.
Kayla: Absolutely. And just out of academic curiosity, 'cause I'm Canadian as well. Where in Canada were you staying?
Michelle: So I started out in Edmonton. We went out to Banff for, a day. But then I did Calgary, Eleanora, and then spent two weeks out in Radium Hot Springs. And when I was in, radium Hot Springs,
I did a 10 mile solo kayak trip down the Columbia River, which was probably, as I look back now, the most healing thing I could have done for myself.
Kayla: I could absolutely see that you've got the water, you've got nature. And then like you said, we live in a world where we're always plugged in, like there's phones and technology and busyness.
I think that is one of the things that prolongs that nervous system healing when we truly need it. So that sounds like the most beautiful experience for sure. And in addition to. Nature to stillness. What were, were there any other practices you turned to, to help you move through this season?
Michelle: You know,
just turning, like meditation, you know, breath work, you know, and energy work. The soma, the somatic side of things. And also movement, but movement in a manner that nourishes the body.
Kayla: Do you have any favorite go-to movements?
Michelle: Honestly walking, that walk in the woods, that walk on the beach, sometimes, yin yoga, just a gentle flow or, holding the positions longer, that you can really drop into the body.
'cause it's about connecting with the body, not breaking that sweat.
Kayla: Yes. I personally, if I'm gonna do yoga in yoga forever, because I also do love my dance and my running and everything else. So if I'm gonna yoga, I wanna just be sitting there and breathing and holding for sure.
Michelle: Yeah. And then also like, and also Kundalini, like I just love Kundalini yoga.
Kayla: Mm-hmm. I've tried Kundalini yoga, I've tried breath work though, and that seems to do some pretty magical stuff.
Michelle: Yes. Because, you know, we all breathe wrong. Whether we realize it or not, we're not breathing properly. We all breathe relatively shallow.
Kayla: Yes. So I would love to hear a little bit more about your creative journey.
So the book writing journey, your journey of podcasting. How has all of that shaped and even informed your nervous system healing as well?
Michelle: Oh, the book was cathartic in, you know, there's a chapter in the book that's called, you know, writing a book is like having a baby. And when anyone who's an author is smiling and laughing because you're going like, yep.
Because you go through all the different phases, all the different emotions, it's like as you're telling that story again, it's like, yeah, you might've told that story a dozen times already or two dozen times, but the fact that you're sitting there writing it out, it's just. There's a level of healing that takes place within writing.
But ironically, writing my book became a hot mess, because there was a period where, I was too in my head in writing and needed to connect inward more. But then just as I was. Tapping back into writing, you know, I got that little inspirational hit and I went to log into Google Drive to write. I was locked out.
I couldn't remember my password. The password that I was putting in was not working yet. I knew that it was the right password. And I sat there and I'm like, what the, like why? And I was doing everything and anything. 'cause putting in the recovery stuff wasn't working. Putting in my phone number for the recovery texts, like putting in another email address, putting in all this other information, wasn't working as a form of recovery to where I was like Googling how to contact Google, like to try to find an actual phone number to get a physical person.
Because I was in tears as to like, all right, my whole book is now trapped in a Google drive. I can't access it, like complete, you know, panic attack. Like, I don't wanna have to start over again. And I sat there one day and I just surrendered. The next day I sat back down. I got that little nudge. I sat back down.
I typed in the exact same password I typed in the first time, and it let me in. It was kind of as if the universe was saying to me, that wasn't the right time for you to start writing. Now is and oh. Was able to finish the book. And even the same thing with my podcast. My podcast became a hot mess.
Oh, where last year I was flagged by, span Spotify's audience network. The media company that I was with at the time was able to fight it. But then in January I got flagged again, and this time they weren't able to fight it, and I was given two options. I could either continue with the show, but have it be not monetized or start over completely, and I sat there with it and I really had to go inward again.
And oh, I let it all like marinate and sat with it and in March decided like, okay, you're gonna launch a new show, but you're gonna launch that show separately from the media company. So that's what I did. And within, in five episodes, three episodes, something like that, I was five again. Bye.
Spotify's audience network. Now, the only thing that was still the same was I didn't, I still had the same, podcast promoter. And I fired him on the spot, released five more episodes and then realized that, no, this show is not what I want. It's not. Aligned with my brand. So I killed it. 10 episodes in, I killed it, and I sat.
Again, 'cause I'm like, I know I'm meant to have a podcast. And I sat with it and it was, no, you're bringing hot mess magic back. You're bringing it back on your own because you're creating hot mess magic media and you cannot create a media company while you are part of another media company.
Kayla: Neat. I would love to hear, I've never heard of a podcast being flagged, so can you share how that even Cruz, it sounds like it was something along with your promoter.
Michelle: I was flagged for false metrics. Oh. So basically Spotify was saying that my numbers were fake.
Kayla: Interesting. So your promoter could have been.
Michelle: Using some sort, using bots or something like that. And that was where, when I launched this, well I could see it, with the first version of Hot Mess, magic.
I could tell when he was doing things 'cause I would get like spikes, but then I could really see it with the new show because I would get, like, I'd be, pretty steady in downloads, and then I would get this massive spike and then it would go pretty steady again, you know, and then it would spike again and I'm going, okay.
Yeah, that would flag any that, you know, just in general would draw a red flag to, you know, to anyone. So, yeah, he was doing something, even though he was telling me everything he was doing was organic and not using any bots or anything like that, those spikes showed that he was not promoting consistently or whatever he was doing just was, yeah.
Was create creating spikes. And those spikes are what triggered, you know, Spotify's, you know, system to go, wait a second.
Kayla: It is so wild to me that you have been able to take all of these things, very challenging experiences, and then go inwards. And then tap into that intuition and then move from there to create, from a place of so much more sovereignty, which is so inspiring. So what are maybe one to three of the top lessons you've learned through this entire hot mess, magic journey?
Michelle: The first would be to honor what you're feeling, you know, and honor what you're, when we honor what we're feeling, like truly feel it. So I always like to say, feel the feeling, don't become the emotion. After my car was repossessed, it was around Christmas. I curled up on the couch with a blanket and binged Hallmark Christmas movies for a couple days.
I sat in that, you know, shame, guilt. I sat in the ick. Because that's what I needed to do. And then it was like, all right, you gotta snap out of it and start moving. Oh, start moving forward. It's like you have your car back, you have a game plan. Let's get off the couch and let's, it was start moving.
Yes. It's, it was still within, you know. The Christmas season, 'cause it wasn't New Year's yet, and it was that within that week, between Christmas and New Year's, I was like, right, get off the couch. Like, go outside, go, go do, go do something. Like, go take a walk. Go and go to a yoga class. Like, just move your body and slowly start like coming back to life.
So yeah, honor, honor what you're feeling. Oh. Trust your intuition no matter how crazy it might sound. And 99% of the time, the crazier it sounds, the more it is you need to do it. Uh, so that's where like, oh, I was getting sometimes like intuitive hits to. Go to Target. It's like, I don't need anything in Target yet.
It was like, go to Target. But I like, and I'm arguing with myself like, but I don't need anything in Target. And it's Target. I don't wanna buy anything, you know, that I don't need,
so it's like follow, like, follow and trust that intuition and, oh. The third I would say is
it is just a blip. It's all part of the process. It's like it builds, you know, it builds that resiliency. It's like you can let these moments knock you down and define you, or you can sit there and go, what is this showing me? What is this teaching me? How is this helping me grow? How is this helping me learn, and learn from that mess as opposed to?
Letting it define you and keeping you down.
Kayla: Those are powerful lessons. And two more questions as we wrap up. This has been such a great conversation, so I always get my guests to give the listeners some kind of an embodied challenge. So it can be a writing prompt, it can be your favorite Kundalini pose, something they can go and do after they finish this episode.
Michelle: Oh, so we're at the start of the new year. So what I like to always do at the start of the new year, and I don't view January as the start of the new year. I go by the spring as you know, my new year. So take January and look at all of. 2025, like everything that happened within that year, what did you achieve?
What didn't you achieve? What are you proud of? What messes did you have? Sit there and express gratitude for every single thing, even the things that knocked you down. Even those messes. Express the gratitude for them and by expressing that gratitude when it's gonna help you let go.
'cause now we're gonna let go of 25 and leave it, you know, in the past and then sit down and just write out what you want your blessings for 26 to be. Not your goals, but your blessings.
Kayla: I love that. That is such a powerful shift from goals to blessings. And also I also agree that we spend so much time like setting the goals, but that review of the previous year is.
Almost more powerful than doing the recalibration for the upcoming year. So thank you so much for that. And when listeners wanna connect with you further, listen to your podcast, where are the best places for them to go to do so?
Michelle: You can find me on Instagram at Michelle with two Ls, a Burke. You can also find the show at Hot Mess Magic Media, and those would be right now the two best places.
Kayla: Perfect. Thank you again so much for being here.
Michelle: Thank you for having me.
