204. Turn On & Sexual Energy: The Unexpected Path To Food Freedom
204. Turn On & Sexual Energy: The Unexpected Path To Food Freedom
What if your most magnetic, consistent, and embodied self wasn’t buried under layers of self-discipline and diet plans—but buried beneath shame, suppression, and sexual disconnection?
In this sultry Scorpio Season episode, Kayla unpacks how turn on, sexual energy, and self-lust became the most potent tools in her food freedom journey.
You’ll hear the shift from problem-solving to creation—a permission slip to ditch fixing and start desiring.
She’ll reveal why reclaiming sexual energy—especially through inner masculine archetypes like Rex and Haven—isn’t indulgent or rebellious... it’s the literal antidote to inconsistency, overindulgence, and binge patterns.
From dance and breathwork to erotic storytelling and villain-era boundaries, Kayla invites you to get high off your own supply—and stop outsourcing your pleasure to food, sugar, or external validation.
And in true Scorpio style, she doesn’t shy away from the taboo: bridging spirituality, sexuality, and sidereal astrology, this episode offers a multidimensional framework for healing through eros.
You’ll walk away with a deep understanding of:
Why sexual suppression = creative and energetic stagnation
How pleasure-filled rituals replace binge eating and overconsumption
Why your erotic self is your most consistent self
How True Sidereal astrology helps you stop overindulging by balancing Taurus–Scorpio themes
The underrated power of self-lust (and how inner masculine archetypes unlock it)
This is your invitation to make turn on your default state—and your daily habits the foreplay of your dream life.
Links Mentioned:
Transcript
Welcome to another episode of the Embodied Writing Warrior Podcast and also... happy Scorpio Season. I don't always acknowledge the change in the astrological weather, but I had to today because the next three solo episodes are going to be a special series that is very Scorpio-coded in nature. I've been planning this for a while and I'm so excited to bring this deep magic to you because it has to power to transform so much in your relationship with food, body image, and even your level of presence and power in all aspects of your daily life.
We're kicking it off with an episode on why turn and sexual expression are the unexpected path to food freedom. In this episode I'm sharing:
The one shift you can make to end the struggle with inconsistency, emotional eating, and self-sabotage in your health and fitness journey.
Why being cut off from turn on and sexual expression is a massive roadblock not only in your health and fitness journey, but in your pursuit of any dream or goal you have.
How to lean into the natural magic of Scorpio energy to transform your struggles with binge and emotional eating once and for all. This final piece of how I not only went 68+ days with not one binge, continue to have the most peaceful, natural relationship with food I've ever had, and also how I finally broke the two hour mark on my half marathon in June. I saved the best for last, so you'll definitely want to stick around for this piece.
Let's start with the one shift you must make to end the struggle on your health and fitness journey.
This shift involves moving from a fixing, problem solving paradigm in your journey to a creative, desire-led one.
Let's start with why fixing can actually make your struggles with inconsistency, emotional eating, and self-sabotage work.
Most traditional approaches to health and fitness revolve around problem-solving or fixing. They come at things from the perspective of the weight you need to lose, the medical numbers you want to improve, or the unhelpful habits you want to eliminate.
There's two huge reasons why this holds you back:
The first is that when you're focused on the don't like, don't want situations, you're more likely to perpetuate these exact situations. Your brain can't do a negative. If you tell it to stop thinking about sugar or your binge eating habit, you're actually going to be focused on your binge eating habit or sugar. You've probably noticed if you've ever made a claim like, "I'm not going to eat any white flour for the next month", that all you want to do is eat white flour and two hours later, you're at Little Caesars buying crazy bread. Anyone else, or just me?
The other reason this problem solving approach can do more harm than good? By focusing on what's wrong and needs fixing, you're putting yourself in a state of frustration, dissatisfaction, maybe even anger or fear that you'll never change. Maybe there's some self-judgement or guilt or shame about being where you are in your journey.
When you're stuck in these states for long periods of time, it's deeply uncomfortable. Especially if these emotions come with a whole pile of thoughts and stories about how bad it is, how hard it is, how you should have done better. Basically, you have this Inner Critic who shows up and dumps on you. And what happens when the Inner Critic comes along and dumps on you? There's going to be a younger, more vulnerable part who feels worthless, scared, and sad. Then there's going to be another Firefighter part who will do anything to make those unpleasant feelings go away... and this often shows up in the form of emotional eating, overindulging, or skipping workouts or self-care habits and choosing to Doomscroll or numb out with TV instead.
You're in the Drama Triangle of binge eating because you've approached your journey with these fixing, what's wrong mentality. And if you want more guidance on how to break free from this drama triangle, episode 190 does a deep dive into this topic, which I'll link in the episode description.
So... if problem solving and fixing keep you stuck and put you at risk of getting caught in an internal drama triangle, here's the shift you need to make:
You want to shift into creativity and desire.
Yes, maybe you want to stop binge and emotional eating. But you don't just want the absence of the problem. You want an upgraded relationship with food and eating. You want self-trust. You want to know you can keep the promises you make to yourself.
I want you to think deeply about the relationship you want to have with food. How do you show up for your meals? Do you slow down and sit at a beautiful kitchen table? Do you choose foods that give you energy and make you feel alive in your body? Do you close the kitchen right after dinner so you can get an amazing night of sleep so you can then wake up with so much energy and vitality, ready to experience the fullness of a new day? Do you want to feel so much pleasure and presence while you eat, slowing down, savouring every bite, choosing indulgences that are truly worth it, enjoying those indulgences, and then moving on to the next healthy choice?
What are the rituals you want to build into your daily life? Do you want to start a morning dance practice that gets you insipred and lit up for the day ahead? Do you want to be the woman who always goes on a walk in the afternoon, breathing the fresh air, feeling light and alive in your body? Do you want to have a sacred evening routine where you do some breathwork and yin yoga so you're fully ready for a gorgeous night of sleep?
Maybe you want to be the woman who LOVES to workout and gives it one hundred percent every time because it feels good. Maybe you want to go on a long run every weekend because it resets your mind, body, and spirit and fuels your creativity for the week ahead.
Can you feel the energetic difference between solving something and creating from a place of desire? And the magical thing is, when you choose to create and let desire lead, any challenges or issues you had take care of themselves. If you're someone who eats with pleasure and presence and slows down, binge eating will naturally fade away. When you're someone who's built the rituals into her daily life from a place of identity, you won't have to worry about inconsistency. And when you have practices and habits that allow you to feel your emotions without food, you won't have to worry about self-sabotage anymore.
We had to talk about the importance of moving from a place of creativity because it is vital to this second point. Turn on and sexual energy are so underused in our food freedom journey as well as our manifestation journey in general. If you have big dreams and goals, this episode is going to help you take everything to the next level.
This is something I first learned about in a program called Orgasmic Manifesting, and this concept is one I've come back to because it is game-changing.
So... why is turn on and sexual energy so powerful? Because when you want more of something, you need more energy. Your sexual energy IS your manifesting energy, your creative energy. That's why we want to get into that creative space first versus trying to solve a problem and THEN we can amplify the creativity and manifestation power as our disposal by increasing our level of turn on and sexual aliveness.
But here's the big challenge with this:
Women are often either taught to either suppress or extinguish our sexual energy (through a sexual exchange). We aren't often taught to linger in our sexual energy, to allow our sexual energy, to embody our sexual energy.
Think about your own experiences with your sexual energy - do you allow yourself to just live in a state of turn on when you feel it. Or do you label it as inappropriate and shut it down. Or maybe you have a partner and connect with them sexually.
But there's a third choice that few women make because they're conditioned to do anything BUT this.
Ths third choice is to intentionally build and increase your sexual energy, holding it so it fuels you.
Unfortunately, most women develop a split between her regular self and her sexual self. As little girls, we learn that our sexuality is not a good thing. Maybe you learned it in church, or at school, or from disapproval or sexual shutdown you noticed in your mother or other female regulars.
Over time, we find we have this regular self and then our sexual self, and the latter will often get hidden. This is especially true if you've had certain experiences that taught you sexuality was dangerous, wrong, or unsafe. For me, I experienced this at a very young age where I learned, not only is sexuality dangerous and unsafe, but it can actually create some very negative consequences. From a young age, I took on the belief that my sexual self, was the cause of my mother's health challenges. Now, this wasn't actually true, but it was a meaning my younger self created about this topic.
Then you have this split where the regular self is there, but the sexual self is hidden up to 90% of the time. Women will often then sometimes look to someone else to bring out their sexuality and it can only happen behind closed doors. Sexuality often ends up being for someone else and only used WITH someone else. And if your sexual self - which is your creative, powerful, manifesting magic self - that means you're only accessing about 10% of your creative capabilities.
Having restricted access to your sexual energy severely restricts your ability to manifest.
The Solution: Heal the split between your regular self and your sexual self. Allow your sexual energy to present as much as possible. LIVE in a state of turn on. When you live in a state of turn on, you drastically enhance your creative capabilities and this is going to transform your health, your level of consistency and follow-through, and make you way more magnetic to any dream you're pursuing.
Turn On Is:
Taking pleasure from your own body (through dance, self-pleasure, mindful eating).
Feeling a sense of your own aliveness and life force.
Experiencing alignment in your spirit and body.
Feeling divinity in your body.
Experiencing your natural enthusiasm - and I'm going to make a side note about this one because it's SO important for my powerful women who worry about being "too much". I've had to do SO much work around this. I used to try and hold back and hide some of my natural enthusiasm because I thought it was a bad thing. My mom used to call me Tigger because as a kid, I would want so badly to be friends with other kids, I would bounce all over them and scare them away with my enthusiasm. But from one "too much" woman to another - your enthusiasm is HOT. The less you worry about repelling the wrong people and choose to be fully, enthusiastically, shamelessly you, the better your life gets.
Turn on is also experiencing yourself as whole, complete, and full.
Choosing to reach for pleasure - especially when it feels difficult.
Turn on is a choice. It's a decision, and it's the decision that will transform your entire life.
Turn on is a state of being on the inside.
The Erotic is where a woman's confidence lives, where she sources her power, where she connects to her deepest desires and longings.
And you might think, okay, but HOW? How do I live in this state?
The absolute best thing you can do to make this shift is get back into your body. Presence is one of the most healing things, both for re-integrating your sexual/creative self so you can manifest on repeat, but also for healing your relationship to food.
This brings us to our final point on leaning into Scorpio energy to transform your relationship with food once and for all. This advice actually came from a True Sidereal astrology reading. If you're not familiar with True Sidereal astrology, it's a more embodied version of astrology that reflects the actual sizes and positions of constellations. I was curious about true sidereal astrology because there were certain things about my Western chart that didn't fully resonate.
For example, I feel like I'm a super fiery person, and my Western birth chart has zero fire placements. But with True Sidereal, I have SO many fire placements. Sun, rising, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus, South Node...
What I've learned is that True Sidereal is amazing for medical astrology and using your birth chart to transform your health, your daily routines, and more internal patterns. I got a birth chart reading from a True Sidereal astrologer just as I was getting ready to train for my last half marathon and I actually built a half-marathon training plan that was aligned with my True Sidereal birth chart reading. I swear that was one BIG reason that training season was the most successful, pleasurable and aligned.
One thing about my true sidereal birth chart is the fact that I have a huge pile up of placements in Taurus. Moon, Jupiter, Venus, and Mercury. And here's the interesting thing from my birth chart reading about having so much Taurus present. In the reading, the astrologer wrote:
Be conscious of not over indulging either, your senses may be so in love with what you bring in to them, via Jupiter and Venus’s desires, that you may over indulge – Venusian and Jupitarian tendencies.
Note that getting high off your own supply of your bodies own eros (as found in the opposite sign of Scorpio) may help the Taurean placements to simply enjoy the lusciousness of being, rather than having excessive needs to indulge.
This is also a powerful tip for working with an astrological birth chart in general - if you have ANY big pileup of placements that's leading to imbalance, you can lean into the energy of the opposite sign to create more balance.
And now - what about using this to break free from emotional and binge eating and just overindulging in general?
Sometimes, food becomes the only type of pleasure we allow ourselves. This can be because we don't feel worthy of slowing down or taking the time to fill ourselves up in other ways. It can be because we're so steeped in people pleasing and obligation that we literally don't have time. And if food is the only type of pleasure we allow ourselves, of course we're going to overindulge. It becomes almost inevitable. This doesn't just happen to people with a lot of Taurus in their birth chart - it can happen to anyone who isn't allowing themselves to get high off their bodies own eros.
And what does it actually look like in practice to get high off your own supply instead of relying on sugar and caffeine and processed food to do all the heavy lifting?
First, it's remembering that your body already knows how to create pleasure without a single substance, especially when you give it space to do so. You don't always to reach for a dopamine hit. Sometimes, you just get to BE the dopamine hit.
It could look like a regular self-pleasure practice. This might be one of the BEST ones, especially when done with the intention of circulating life force.
It might be breathwork - talk about getting high off your own supply, right?
It might look like entering into your Villain Era - high, Scorpio - and setting boundaries so you have time to DO the things that allow you to get high off your own supply. Maybe this is dance or running for you like it is for me. Maybe it's reading or writing spicy stories and letting your imagination run wild.
I think this is why Food Freedom Fantasy is powerful medicine for the binge and emotional eater. Because you're taking fantasy - inner masculine archetypes created by you, for you, that are exactly your type, so of course they turn you on. But you're not just writing mindless sexy stories about them - though, you could totally do that if you want.
You're infusing this turned on energy into dialogue and scenes with these archetypes while moving through your health and fitness goals. You accomplish the yoga session you planned for the day? Maybe one of your archetypes then rewards you with a sensual, full body massage. You finish work on a project you'd been putting off? Maybe one of them pins you against the wall and growls praise against your neck.
So now, yes, you're using the power of turn on and sexual energy which is increasing your capacity to manifest and follow through on your goals and you're using it with clear intention that gets channeled directly into your daily routines and habits. This basically makes you unstoppable because now you're energized and you want to do the things on your list.
This also helps to heal that psycho-sexual split we talked about earlier. I think this is especially important for woman in committed relationships who feel like their turn on and sexual energy should be reserved for their sexual partner alone. I also agree that those commitments and loyalty are everything in a relationship. AND - if women think they can only be sexual with their partner, it can dam up so much of their sexual power.
When you create your own inner masculine archetypes - who get to be sexy and turn you on - you're creating the capacity to live in a state of turn on more of the time, without breaking promises or hurting someone you love. And here's where it gets even more about getting high off your own supply.
You created these archetypes. They are aspects of your own inner masculine. So now, you're not just experiencing self-love. You're experiencing self-lust which... damn, isn't that the ultimate way to get high off your own supply?
It's funny - I once listened to a podcast where someone was talking about self-lust and I was like, "huh?" Because somehow, I just couldn't imagine getting turned on by my own self. But creating these hot inner masculine archetypes - because they're exactly my type, I can definitely get behind being turned on by them.
So you're doing deep inner integration, moving towards wholeness, which is an aspect of turn on.
You've found this wildly creative way to generate self-lust, which makes you creative, magnetic, and powerful.
And because you feel lit up and inspired and maybe even sexy while you're going through your daily routines and habits because you're using these archetypes... you don't have the same cravings for sugar because your entire health and fitness journey becomes the sugar instead.
So. That's my Ted Talk on the power of turn and sexual energy. Your Embodied Activation is to go get high off your own supply this week - whether it's through breathwork, Dance, or opening up the Spicy Why Choose romance you've had sitting on your shelf for the last month. You'll be so happy you did. And Ps. Like I said, this is part one of three so definitely come back and hang out with me next week because I've got some pretty epic content coming your way. Until next time, have an amazing rest of your week.
